The Aftermath

What normally happens after a nightmare? You wake up either shaking, breathing hard, sweating, or even crying, but eventually you shake it off and it eventually becomes a distant memory. The morning after Dr. P told us about the diagnosis, I was wishing that it all was just a dream, unfortunately it wasn’t, so all we could do at this point was wait to see what the next step was. The doctor that we saw before Erick was submitted into the hospital stopped by and told us how sorry she was, and wished she could have known before. But who was she to be blamed, she is only human, so I don’t blame her. I was blaming myself. Maybe this was a punishment, perhaps I wasn’t a good mom, or maybe this was a punishment from God for being a shit mother.

After we were fully awake, the nurses came by to take some blood for lab work, give Erick some more antibiotic and tylenol for his fever. Eventually my mom came to the hospital to stay with us. When she came, you could see her broken inside, she said, “ I went to work, and as I was walking in, my coworkers were asking me if I was ok. Of course I’m not ok! I’m far from ok, I couldn’t work Naty, I couldn’t. I explained to my manager what was going on and they excused me for the whole week”. I am actually happy she did, I needed my mother more than anything; because to be honest, I was lost, I didn’t know what questions to ask or what to say, I needed guidance and that is exactly what I got from my mother.

Since we didn’t pack anything from the house for our hospital stay, my mother agreed to stay with Erick, while Luis and I got breakfast. Besides my sister, the first two people that came to my mind were, my Aunt Irma (my mother’s sister) and my cousin Rodrigo. I called Rodrigo while we were waiting for our breakfast in the McDonald’s drive thru lane. The first thing I said was, “ Roy, (pause) Roy, something bad happened.”, and he said, “What’s wrong Naty?”, I said crying, “ Roy, my son has leukemia, Roy. My son is in the hospital and he has leukemia.”. As I sat crying with Luis in the drive thru lane, Rodrigo asked where I was, and at first we were going home, but eventually my mom called me and told me that the doctors were ready to talk to us, so the plans changed and we headed pack to the hospital.

When we got back to the hospital, the doctors were waiting for us, and told us that eventually we were going to find out what type of leukemia he had. He was also going to need a port in his chest; that way his medicine would be easier to give and labs would be easier to access. Rodrigo got there and we hugged, it was like him being there gave me comfort and more strength to deal with my son’s diagnosis. I know for sure that it gave my mom that faith that she was lacking at the moment. Luis, Rodrigo, and I went to another room and we let it all out, and he assured me that none of this was our fault and and we had to unite as a family and be strong for Erick.

Later that day, I went to my job to speak to my boss. I have two best friends at work, one of them I had talked to the night before, and I appreciate her more than ever because she is the one who encouraged the blood test. If it wasn’t for her advice, I don’t think I would have known about Erick’s diagnosis; the other one I was a bit hesitant to talk to but as I was walking by his office, it was like someone told him to turn around, and he saw my face and he asked me what was wrong, and I am glad he did because he has been so supportive during this time. I let it all out, I cried and he just listened. Then, I went to my bosses office, we talked and he told me not to worry, we would talk later about my job.

Later that day, my closest family members and friends came to visit, brought presents, food, and the day again ended. On the next day, another doctor that was working with Dr. P, Dr. B came by and told us that we were going to be talking about the type of leukemia Erick had. I didn’t even know that there were other types of leukemia. See, I had been so naive, I knew what leukemia was but I thought it was all the same. I was very wrong. Luis, my mom, Rodrigo, his wife, and I sat around in a table with Dr. B and told us what he has. He has been diagnosed with, Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia, it is one of the most common leukemias with kids, and 90% of children survive this type of leukemia. While that 90 % is comforting, there is still 10% that haunts me to this day. Just knowing that there is still that percentage that makes me fear everyday, and I don’t know if I will ever be ok. Both Dr. P and Dr. B have assured me that they will do everything in their power to help Erick overcome his leukemia, and I am not exaggerating when I say this, Erick is the strongest human I have ever met. He has been so strong and so happy during this whole entire time, his smile keeps me going on a daily basis and knowing that I have these wonderful friends and family members by our side assures me that Erick will overcome this.

I also want to take a moment to thank my parents, my sister and her husband, my in-laws, my brother-in-law and wife, my friends Sebastian, Hannah, and Siera, and my whole entire friends and family for being there when I needed them the most. I would be truly lost without their love and comfort that they have provided for our trio. Luis for being my best friend since the day we met. And most importantly God for giving me this strength that I never thought I had. And Erick I want to thank you for being the biggest blessing I have ever had.