Update, the reason why I took a break.

Hello everyone! It has been a minute since I have typed a blog, and tonight I just wanted to get on to give a very brief explanation on why I have been so so absent. for the past couple of weeks, I have been going through issues with my self. I have my good times and I have very bad times, and what I have been trying to do is learn a way to deal with my depression. At the beginning, obviously, everything was just tears and trying to cope with Erick's diagnosis. Afterwards, I slowly stopped crying (my nights crying myself to sleep are still present but not as much as before) but a lot of thoughts would cross my mind and honestly, I don't know how to deal with them. Again I have my good days and then I have my cloudy days, but as I tried to get on the laptop to type a blog, all the memories of this summer would start affecting me. Trust me, I want to type to help me process what we as a family are going through, but at the same time, it can be overwhelming remembering every detail. So I decided to take a break from blogging and dedicated this time to find a way to cope with my depression and of course tend to Erick.

During this time, I have also come to realize that, at this moment in life, I am terrified of getting together with family or people that I know. Like if I go to family gatherings or birthday parties, I automatically get anxiety attacks. I can now go to public places, even though I run the same risk of seeing people I know but at least I get to see them for a few minutes and not hours at the time. I know family and friends mean best when they ask for updates and how we found out, but in all honesty, I don't want to talk about it. It is too much for me. Typing it and letting everyone know via blog makes it a little bit easier for me. I get to hide behind the screen of my laptop. I know I have been somewhat absent from family gatherings but I want my family to know, its not them, its me. So I do sincerely apologize if I am awkward or say something so awkward, I just don't know how to be myself.

As of right now, I am going to start blogging soon, I just needed a small break. I needed this time to learn how to cope with everything, and I want to thank everyone for the positive feedback. Erick as of right now is responding to treatment well, he took a few weeks off and will begin treatment again on the 16th of October. He started home schooling and is doing so well. He brightens my day like no other. Children are incredible and in all honesty, they are our true heroes. I also want to give a special shout-out to Hannah (my editor) for editing my blogs and being patient on me not sending her any and a congratulations on her engagement

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